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Men & Women – how the hell do we manage to get along?! – By Sarah |
Following on from a conversation this morning with Miss Bunny, I have decided to write as article on how men and women differ in the way we think, react to situations and argue. As a woman who is in an open relationship with a man, and who spends quite a lot of time with a woman I like to call my girlfriend, I believe I am really rather knowledgeable on how the sexes differ.
It is a well-known fact that men and women use their brains in different ways. Men tend to think more with their grey matter and have 6 times more than women, whereas women think more with their white matter and have 10 times more than men! The very anatomy of our brains is different so it suggests that we really are quite different in how we think and react to the world.
One of the biggest examples of the differences between men and women is demonstrated when we argue. I can have an argument with my girlfriend at tea time, but by bed time it will be all sorted out and we will have kissed and made up. No matter how explosive the argument is, we always manage to talk it out, apologise (if necessary) and move on within a matter of hours. With my boyfriend it is a very different matter. I have known him to recede into his cave for days and give me the silent treatment. Men are also great at escalating the situation. He likes to ask me to move out when we argue as though it is the end of relationship every time we raise our voices at each other. Women have a better grasp on perspective. We know that an argument is an argument and that unless it is about infidelity it can more often than not be fixed. Those two words which so often allude men ‘I’m sorry’ are frequently all that is required to get the relationship back on track.
Sometimes the difference between us can seem like a huge mountain which we can’t climb. But the differences in brain anatomy and chemistry exists for a good reason, it makes the sexes excel in different ways. We balance each other out.
Please leave me a comment if you like this post and let me know what you think are the main differences between men and women!
--Sarah
Open Relationships: Can they really work? – By Sarah Gill |
'Write what you know’ or so the saying goes. I have been in an open relationship now for 6 months and have experienced the ups and downs of trying to make it work, so what better a topic to write about than that?
A little about me:
Myself and my boyfriend decided to embark upon an open relationship following a heart to heart about our relationship, whether we were happy and what we would both like to change. We soon discovered that we both desired a little more excitement and variety, so following the drafting of some stringent rules and regulations; we decided to change the status of our relationship to ‘open….ish’. I can honestly say that it is the best decision we have ever made! We are both making much more effort with each other to please the other party and to look like we have made an effort at all times. We feel more able to be open and honest about our feelings, we no-longer feel trapped and we have a greater feeling of freedom and liberty. And most importantly the sex between us has never been better, more frequent…or kinkier! I would say we are far more in love now than we have ever been…
All in all, being in an open relationship has done both me and my boyfriend the world of good. I have a happy, loved up, stable and searingly hot relationship at home with him where the sex is blow-your-head-off amazing. But I also get to go out and chat up/play with/shag other men as and when I want to. It’s a win win situation…at least for us.
Positives and negatives:
However, there are many positives and negatives which I feel I should include here before anyone decides to go running off to their partner with a request for an open relationship. I guess the main positive aspects are everything mentioned above plus the fact that an open relationship is far less likely to get into a rut than a closed one, both parties will be more sexually satisfied, neither party feel that they are ‘owned’ by their partner and for some people thinking about their partner shagging someone else can be a turn on! It certainly is for me, which in turn improves sex within the relationship! The main negative has got to be the jealousy aspect. If either one of you are the jealous type, and open relationship really is not going to work for you. There is also the issue of one party deciding that they would rather go the whole hog and be single, or even of one party falling for someone outside of the relationship. Some people also have the opinion that an open relationship is just a way of cheating without the consequences. As far as I am concerned they could not be more wrong as all open relationships need plenty of rules and regulations, far more than a closed relationship!
Rules:
The single most important aspect of embarking upon an open relationship is to set down ground rules before you begin. I cannot stress enough the importance of having both parties on the same page when it comes to what is and what is not allowed. Myself and my boyfriend have a page of rules which include: no sex with exes/close friends, no sex with others in our home (unless part of a threesome), the sex must be safe, no discussing our encounters and our relationship must take priority at all times. Each couple will have different things which they consider important, so work it out between the two of you and don’t be afraid to abandon the idea if it doesn’t appear to be working. Another very important aspect of our rules is that I must feel like the queen bee at all times. This removes any feeling of jealously that occasionally try to rear their ugly heads when I know that my boyfriend has got lucky with someone else. It is so vital that both parties feel that they are number one and that no one else could possibly take their place. Lucky, this is exactly how we both feel! All in all, I would say our relationship is ‘sexually open, but emotionally closed’.
Tips:
So below I will write my top 5 tips for a successful open relationship, but before I do there are two final things I want to say and both of them are facts: 1) Men (and some women) have a natural ‘hunter’ urge to spread their seed far and wide, and to try to deny this is pointless. And therefore: 2) 50% of marriages end in divorce, clearly the monogamous relationship just isn’t working.
Sarah’s 5 open relationship tips:
* Discuss, discuss, discuss – you must set down ground rules!
* The lady must feel like queen bee at all times to avoid jealously
* Make time for the primary relationship above all else!
* No sex with exes or people who are close to the relationship
* Do not discuss any sex had outside of the relationship
I hope you enjoyed reading my post and please leave me a comment if you liked it!
-- Sarah
Boys Who Fear Toys! – By Katy Hudd |
So I hear time and time again, that men feel ‘threatened’ by sex toys and the question is why, and does this include feeling threatened by the pink and sparkly ones too? Sex is about having fun, trying new things and most importantly enjoying it. But sometimes suggesting using a toy is like bringing an uninvited guest to the party! Do men feel that they should be the only one’s giving you pleasure? Or that you are just making it clear they don’t satisfy you and aren’t really needed? In fact it is more about experiencing a different kind of pleasure and excitement, not just for you but him as well. Then of course there is the competition aspect of it, you know, whoever makes you orgasm first wins a prize!
So is this really more to do with insecurities? The fact that they feel they just can’t be as good as, or as big as, or even as pink and sparkly as your toy? And they definitely won’t be able to fit neatly into your bedside cabinet! But this works both ways as no doubt many of us girls feel we could never compete with the perfectly tanned and toned girls in playboy, the ‘beautiful’ busty girls that are in every lads mags and on TV.
What I would say to any men who do feel threatened is honestly there is no reason to be. No matter how good a toy is, it will never be better than the intimacy and affection you share with your partner, but it can be a hell of a bonus! There are so many different types of toys you can try, you are sure to find something which both you and your partner like and feel comfortable using. For those of you who really do like to be the one giving the pleasure and in control, then you might want to try some sexy vibrating knickers, which come with a remote control! And as an added bonus all Rabbit Den members can get 10% off when you buy them here:
Remote Control Vibrating Thong
Just make sure you enter coupon code D2DRD10!
So go on and be a devil
--Katy
A very insightful post Sarah! Your writing style is so easy to read so keep them coming babe!
Brilliant post Sarah! Looks like I might have to go to the bf and see what he thinks. I can only imagine his response....
xx